First Day Last Day
So today is my baby’s last day of school. His last morning of packing a lunch and making his coffee and walking into school with his friends.
Sigh.
It’s emotional for me, not because I’m not happy for him ... I am. I’m super proud of how he’s grown and who he’s become.
It’s emotional for me because I’m the kind of mom who has savored and sought after and fought for a life of being home with my children.
Having children at home has always been a joy for me and I’m the mom who’s never needed or wanted to get away from them. Who’s always missed them when we have been apart. Who’s girls nights or girls lunches were usually at my house so I wouldn’t have to leave my kids and my friends could bring their kids too. Who cried on the first day of every school year because I wasn’t ready for them to go -even though I was happy for them and wanted them to go- I missed them. Who loved the last day of the school year because it meant we would have the whole summer together. Who is now crying on the last day of school because it’s the last one, and now college move-in day goes up on the calendar.
I don’t expect everyone to understand. But as I sat in the school parking lot watching Ian walk into the building, a few magical momlife snapshots started coming back to me, like Polaroid moments from when they were little. The things that gave me life ... with the people who I brought to life but also brought life to me.
Like making their baby food.
Spending years always down on the floor playing with them.
Indoor picnics.
Outdoor picnics.
Going on walks.
Talking to bugs.
Taking care of them when they were sick, sometimes all day and up all night.
Trips to the hospital.
Naming stuffed animals.
Building blanket forts.
Building snow forts.
Camping in the living room.
Music in the park.
Learning things together.
Painting and making ridiculous beautiful art projects.
Jumping in puddles.
Baking.
Play dates.
Listening to music and having them name the different instruments in a song.
Playing repeat the beat where we had to copy each other’s drumbeats.
Acting.
Lip syncing.
Dancing.
Singing.
Reading reading and more reading.
Making up our own stories.
Making treasure hunts for car rides, day trips, or road trips.
Learning song lyrics together.
Making up our own songs.
Making up our own games.
Being curious.
Inventing things.
Their first plane ride.
Playing Tony Hawk's Downhill Jam together. (I never won)
Parties.
School projects.
School field trips.
School lunches in the noisy cafeteria.
Seeing each other at the school every time I volunteered.
Snatching them out of school to play hooky and go to The Smithsonian or an art gallery or a music festival.
Building their first computer together.
The three of us having breakfast in bed together and watching cartoons.
The three of us falling asleep together
holding hands
after writing in our gratitude journals.
To all my mom friends who have little ones, take the time each day to meet your babies where they’re at.
See life through their eyes and then hold it in your heart.
Learn who they are and show them who you are.
Learn what makes them feel loved and make sure they feel your love for them,
and be grateful no matter what kind of day it’s been.
Because even when we savor it,
the time goes by
before we’re ready.